Things Definitely Not To Say Or Go There When
Interviewing
(But Are What I Once Did)
#1-
Don't bite into political debating.
#2- Don't even exhale one breath
dedicated to religious discussion.
#3-
Don't go into an interview or even enter the building just after pulling out the used contents of a
plug of chewing tobacco from your mouth cheeks, as I once did and was ushered immediately into the conference
room before getting the chance to go to the bathroom to flush out the tobacco
pieces adhered to my teeth. Remember, sometimes at some point you have to smile
in interviewing and with pieces of tobacco leaf stuck to your teeth, it just doesn't
leave the lasting impression one would want one to remember one by.
To
follow-up on this thought, never send a job reply through the mail with
needless detailed info written along the flap of the envelope, in which I once
did that stated: “Note: Sealed with pure genuine Texan spit; no tobacco juice
included.”
Hey, “Spit happens!”
#4- Never put your hand near any one of
your nasal cavities during an interview as that is a signal to the interviewer
that they may have some obstacle appendaging from their nostrils. So they in
turn rub their nostrils, in which you in turn pick up that perhaps you did
indeed have something hanging out, so you do it again, which only signals back
to the interviewer the same subliminal message. This continual back 'n' forth
foray becomes so repetitive that by the time the interview is over you're both
saying yore goodbyes with heads bowed and arms over nasals attempting to conceal
any buggerage that was never there to begin with.
#5- This one is the utmost in importance!
Once when discussing the value of diversification in a company, I stated that
on a personal level, "I have a saying that elevates the personification of
diversity by paraphrasing an old saying, but shouldn't comment on it." Apparently that elevated the curiosity of the interviewer who urged me to go on
and state it. "Oh, alright," I finally said, then blurted it out…"As
far as diversity goes, I am a jack-off of all trades but masterbator of none."
On top of that the interviewer was a female. Needless to say I never received a
phone call, an e-mail or letter from the company ever again.
*****
Refrain
from these five misstep items and surely you increase your measure of success
in interviewing. Oh, and uh, one other thing, don't ever wear orange pants to an interview. I
did that once during the hippie days and my college years and actually got the job...but it was as a
professional toilet cleaner.
I
hope that there is some sound advice heretofore for all to advance in their
hiring skills during these times of economic hardships, for sense of humor has
to be a constant adage in no matter the situation.
Glad to lend a
helping hand…
And that is not
in reference to #5,
BJA
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